World Mental Health Day...

Been thinking about this blog for a few days... Do I post it here or start a new blog, after much deliberation I decided to post here, as running does play a part, no surprise there I can hear you saying!

Mental Health, it's a big one and I have to admit it's not something I knew a lot about until it slowly crept in and got itself settled into our lives. Not my own mental health so much but it can be difficult coping with all the chaos at times but both my teenage sons. Ben has anxiety due to his deteriorating vision and probably because of past bullying he endured in mainstream school and James currently in hospital for the second time this year.

 Today was important to me. I feel a bit useless as James is in a psychiatric unit 250 miles away as that was the only bed available. He is doing ok and on new meds but will be there for a while longer. Whether he finally gets a bipolar or other diagnosis we will wait and see, but he is being looked after and hopefully this time can get continued support to manage his condition so he can function in the world.

So back to World Mental Health Day, I did what I always do and planned to run, some friends joined me and we ran a few miles, they donated some money to Mind and we talked. It's not going to change the world but if I can just get people to talk, to be aware, to not be ashamed or scared to speak out about how they are feeling then maybe that will be something.

Mental Health Day runners!

Running has definitely helped me cope over the past weeks, months, years! It is that one constant, although not every run is the same it is very rare not to come home and feel in some way a little better. Whether I run alone, with Dugs, with friends, long, slow, short or fast, no matter what chaos, fear, upset and worry is racing through my head, I know running will help me cope. It can be time to think, time not to think, time to chat, time to be quiet. It really can be all those things and running friends get that and maybe they feel the same or maybe running helps them in a different way I don't know. What I do know is that running has brought some amazing people into my life, strangers who have become friends, friends that I wouldn't ever want to be without, even when I don't feel like saying much they will still be there to share some miles and understand.

It's not just running friends who have been amazing this past week, so many others have been there, have supported, given a hug, listened, let me get on with things quietly when I have needed. let me go home and be by myself when that was needed. I thank everyone of you from running friends to my work friends and family who have been there, who have helped me keep my mental health strong so I can support my boys in the best way I can.

So as you relax this evening, let your loved ones know you love them. If you feel sad, alone, depressed or unhappy in any way, talk to someone. It's ok to not be strong everyday, it's ok to cry, it's ok to not always be at your best, but it's not ok to feel worried, ashamed or guilty about how you feel. Just talk and keep talking.

Love you all, happy running (and talking) xx

Robin Hood 100

This was it the big one, I had been excited about this race since early in the year when I saw the details on Facebook. It was like it was meant to be, it fitted in with other commitments, had a decent cut off and was described as having all runnable trails and was marked so only minimal navigation, ie look for the signs and tape.

My life has revolved around getting ready for this race since I signed up in March. I asked Lindley from Challenge Running to write me a training plan and I have followed it since May to ensure physically I was in the best shape I could possibly be. Thanks Lindley.

I asked Dan if he would crew for me and Richard to be my pacer from 50 miles. Thank you both.

The bit no one could help me with was mental strength, I needed to work on that myself. I read blogs, articles all sorts and practised what I had learnt on my training runs. Slowly over the months I learnt to not let my life stresses mess with my head whilst running. It took work but listening to music for short periods helped, focusing on the running, mantras... you name it I tried it! There was no way a negative mental attitude was going to spoil race day!!

Having a very busy week leading up to the race meant there wasn't much time for stressing and being nervous so when Dan picked me up at 3;30am on Saturday morning I was excited and keen to get going.

I had a race plan and had some notes for  Dan...

Dan's crew notes!

I made it clear to Dan that the only reasons I could DNF was death or a leg injury that meant there was no way I could move, he agreed to this. I had my own sheet of checkpoint mileages, things to do if I was low, a message I had on Facebook from Mark, a note from Richard and a quote from a Frank Turner song "every step you take forward is another step you never have to take again"!!

I was as prepared for this race as I possibly could be so when we set off at 8am all I had to do was run 100 miles, eat lots, drink and keep moving, I was confident I could do this...

Ronnie Staton the race director is one of those people you like instantly on meeting them and my excitement grew (along with some nerves but it was all under control) Race brief done, final toilet dash and we were off.

Everybody seemed to go off really fast and looking at my watch I was being drawn along going far quicker than I wanted, so I took a deep breath, slowed down and let the main pack go on ahead, sticking to my race plan was vital and I knew going out at that speed for me would be disastrous!
The first ten miles still passed by quickly and I reached CP1 in two hours. I felt good, Dan was waiting with my bag of food, I had some custard, topped up bottles and got moving.

The race consisted of a canal stretch, then two 30 mile laps then a return along the canal to the finish. So you visited each CP more than once. I was happy, enjoying the running and feeling strong.

I always, no matter what distance I am running, have a low point at about 18 - 23 miles, but I know it will pass, so when it hit, I put on my ipod, listened to some music, told myself it would pass and kept going. By mile 22 I was feeling great but slightly worried at how sore my legs were, especially my shins (not something I normally suffer from) but was still moving happily within my target pace. Walking breaks were a little longer but having practised fast walking all summer (15 min miles or quicker) I was still well within my race plan times. This race was fun, I was having a great time.

Enjoying my custard, the king of ultra foods!

A friend from parkrun was volunteering at CP4 and she had a big hug ready for me, and lots of encouragement, thanks Andreea. Dan was ready with my custard, sorted my bottles and checked I was fit and well.

I was sensible and sorted some hotspots on my feet as soon as they appeared. I also had a large blister on my big toe, but some diy surgery with a safety pin from my running number and some tape and it was all good and not causing discomfort! My feet didn't really give me any more trouble other than that.

My shins were giving me some pain but it was manageable and I was moving and I finished the first of the 30 mile loops in 12 hours and 9 minutes (48 miles in total) just 9 minutes outside my race plan. From this point I was allowed my pacer, so Rich and I set off to run the 30 mile loop for my second time. At this point I must mention the Major Oak, the website had said you pass it twice. Somehow I missed it both times which amused me somewhat, guess I was in the zone!

Richard kept me entertained with games and we discussed all sorts of topics including 'chicken reproduction'! I was convinced I saw a puma and although my shin pain had reduced my pace more than I would have liked we were still moving at a speed where we weren't chasing cut off times. I was having some periods of nausea and not eating as much as I should. Mentally I was in a good place and not once did quitting cross my mind. I could get this race finished...

Then at 73 miles or so it all went wrong and very quickly too. I began to feel very weak and the temperature seem to drop suddenly. I had put on my base layer and then added my waterproof jacket. Still not very warm I put on a hat and gloves, though my left hand was swollen and I couldn't get the glove on. According to Richard I was staggering all over the road and refused to eat anything, think I agreed to one midget gem! I went and sat on a log on the side of the road but Rich made me get up! Then things are a bit distorted but I ended up in a heap on the floor, I have no recollection of telling Rich I had the RD phone number in my phone and my foil blanket. I vaguely remember talking a lot of rubbish about cows, and telling Rich and Dan, who had arrived in his car, that if they just got me some hot chocolate I could carry on. I don't remember crying which I did a lot apparently, or making them promise not to move the car. The race medic arrived and I was taken back to race headquarters it wasn't till I was back at the village hall it really hit me that it was race over and I had a bit of a cry!
Ronnie said if you are going to DNF that's the way to do it, I didn't make the choice to DNF but do feel that some small errors of judgement escalated quickly to a race ending climax.

I told Richard I was retiring and taking up knitting and baking but have decided to keep ultra running instead (I can't knit or bake!).

Thank you Ronnie for a brilliant race, the route was stunning and very well marked, the CP volunteers were so encouraging and helpful, the medic who checked me over was lovely. Apart from the end bit I loved every minute, I will recover, get even stronger and come back next year and get it finished, and maybe even see the Major Oak!

Thank you Rich and Dan you were the best team I could have had, sorry if I scared you but so grateful you were there. Dan you need to get your business up and running but you have to be my crew at races I am doing! Rich keep finding new games for our runs and let's get 100 miles done!

Thanks also to everyone who has supported me and sponsored me this year. I have read all the messages from the weekend, you are all brilliant.

 It didn't end as I had hoped, but yet another learning experience and a reminder of how small things can add up and end a race. Keeping warm and eating even more will be added to next times notes!

So no new medal to add to the collection but mostly very happy memories and 75 miles is my longest ever run! Is 100 miles within my capabilities... I am 100% sure it is, I won't give up trying, I will just get more positive, train even harder and keep believing.

Happy running xx

Refocusing...

My blog a little like my running has been a little neglected in the early part of this year. Stress at home has been a major factor and sometimes other stuff comes first, I was running but it was unfocused, plodding with the dog to keep me sane and help me get through a tough few months. Happy to say things are improving all the time and although this blog has never been about my personal life on this occasion will just briefly mention that both my sons have suffered to some degree with mental health problems. My elder son in a big way ending with a suicide attempt and a week on the psychiatric ward, scary times, but medication is now working and he is improving day by day and learning to live with his condition. I am fundraising for Mind, trying to raise awareness and talking about it lots as still too much stigma around mental health. 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Bonkers1

So back to the running...

I needed a focus for the year, something to get excited about, and I found the Robin Hood 100 in September. A new 100 mile race, marked trail, undulating but not too hilly, ideal for first time 100 or a fast race so it said. It was perfect, right time of year so I signed up. 
http://hobopace.com/robin-hood-100/   Link is here if you're interested!
Excited yes but it didn't kick start me into training harder, I was struggling to do a sub 30 parkrun and generally feeling unfit! 
As stresses began to reduce and I had more time and energy to think about me I made a plan...
I overhauled my diet and have been eating low carb, high fat for two months and feeling much better for it and a month ago I contacted Lindley at http://www.challenge-running.co.uk/ and asked him to write me a four month plan to get me ready for the race. I was back and ready to start training properly! The plan came and though August looks scary I am enjoying the structure and focus again!

I had signed up late to Halstead Marathon, was not in road marathon running shape but it was sister's first marathon and a marathon I love so thought it would be some miles under the belt. It turned out to be the hottest day of the year and though I was feeling good finished in 5:13 which I think is my slowest out of 6 Halstead marathons. It was definitely the hottest race I can remember doing but as always the support was fantastic and I had a thoroughly enjoyable day, practiced fueling without sugar and felt mentally strong, so was a real confidence boost at the beginning of my new training plan.

Proud of my big sister finishing her first, very hot, marathon!

The next weekend I had booked Bury to Clare Challenge an 18 mile off road race, the training plan said aim for 3.5 to 4 hours, I was feeling great and wanted to be closer to 3.5. I was running with my partner in crime Richard, and though he isn't into structured training plans, is still happy to come and run with me! It was a great race, again a little warm but great checkpoints and runnable trails, it was slightly over 18 miles and we finished in 3:31 which I was more than happy with. Definitely a race I will do again and another tick in the confidence, maybe I haven't lost as much fitness as I thought box! 

Rich and I at finish of Bury to Clare

So after an iffy start to the year, I am feeling great, the new healthy eating lifestyle is working for me, training is on track (apart from a missed run Sunday after being wiped out by a 24hr bug!) and I am feeling good about my running and am happy I will remain focused to train hard to finally get a 100 mile finish in September. I will be running Stour Valley Marathon on Sunday, my third time but first time it won't be part of a back to back weekend, so hoping to push a bit harder and get a decent time.

I have been inspired and excited this weekend following GUCR and the new Monarchs Way Ultra, just 615 miles! So many epic races out there, so much more to do...

If I have learnt anything in the first few months of this year it's although I can support, help, and do practical things for my children (though at 21, 19 and 18 not really children) I can't stop bad things happening and I can't always fix things, as much as I wish I could. What I can do is look after myself, stay strong and remember that by carrying on with my own dreams and ambitions I am not making things worse or letting them down. Running is my space, my release and time for me, without it and my dreams to be at the start line of those epic races I am not the person I want to be...

Happy running all xx

Great Notley parkrun core team does St Peters Way Ultra...

A year ago I ran my second St Peters Way Ultra, friends Len and Richard were waiting at the finish line and mentioned they were going to run it next year, Now I'm sure they won't mind me saying I was sceptical, Rich wasn't a fan of mud and trails and Len had yet to run his first marathon! But I was wrong, something about me coming out of the gloom and up to the finish line at the chapel had stayed with them! So on Sunday, along with John who had said he fancied it too, the four of us were on the start line ready to run 45 miles from Chipping Ongar to the Chapel of St Peter-on-the-Wall, Bradwell.

We had run the route in sections over the previous months and having run the race twice before I wasn't going to repeat last years navigational errors and I was prepared, and had prepared the guys, for the mud!! My tales of the last two years being ankle deep mud for most of the route had been told but a drier winter meant that there was very little mud and the route was much more runnable than previous years. (Think it was only me that was disappointed by the lack of mud!)

We started well and the first leg flew past and we arrived at CP1 ahead of schedule which did mean John and Len missed seeing their wives, but Dan was there and I was able to have my custard pot (custard is now my ultra food of choice!!). Dan, Paula, Vanessa, Holly, James and Becky spent their Sunday driving across Essex supporting us at CPs and generally being awesome. Thank you to all of you.

Leg two we maintained our pace and everyone was in good spirits, we had some photo stops, coaxed John through the tunnel of doom, Richard managed to not bang his head, or electrocute himself as he had when we last ran that leg, and I was having a great run, I felt good physically and mentally which I was pleased about and we arrived in Haningfield and CP2 still ahead of schedule, our support crews were waiting, we refuelled and were quickly on our way and heading for Purleigh.

Serious ultra runners at work!

Leg 3 we slowed a bit but we were maintaining a good pace and everyone still seemed happy, actually nobody really complained all day, there were quiet spells but we dug in and kept moving and we worked well as a team. I really like this leg of the race, the scenery is beautiful and you know when you get to Purleigh you are over half way. We were lucky with the weather and although a little chilly it was a lovely day for running. We had our friends Ruth and Gareth manning CP3 and with Gareth being an Ireland rugby supporter, it would have been rude not to serenade him with some 'Swing Low, Sweet Chariots' after Saturdays result in the Six Nations! We also grabbed a hot drink at Purleigh (thanks Holly).

Check Point 3

Legs 4 and 5 can be quite bleak as you head towards the coast, we were run/walking now but always moving forward. Being with the guys and really wanting them to make it to the finish line of their first ultra meant I didn't ever slip into the negativity that can happen to me when I start to tire. I have finally got my nutrition and hydration sorted for these events, and although I seemed to eat much more than the others, I know that's what I need to do and I really did stick to it and felt good all through the day. The run through Steeple village always seems to go on forever but on reaching CP4 you know there is only 8 miles left and you are going to make the finish. Although Len didn't say as much I could see he was having to dig deep and was in some discomfort and we spent a few minutes at the CP getting prepared for the final push to the end.

The temperature dropped quite substantially and we all donned our waterproof jackets and I added a hat when we hit the see wall and the final two miles. I love and hate those final two miles along the coast in equal amounts, you know you have it in the bag but that Chapel never seems to get any closer!! 

During the final leg there was some talk of me pushing on ahead and trying for a new PB and I did consider it briefly, but it wasn't about the PB. This journey with Len, Rich and John had started a year ago and being with them to cross the finish line meant so much more than any PB. I can honestly say it was one of my happiest and proudest running moments.

Reaching the finish line

We finished in 10 hours and 22 minutes which was a great time. Len, John and Rich you were the best running buddies to share the day with. I thoroughly enjoyed every step and hope you did too. I will keep saying this but I am immensely proud of you all and honoured to have shared your journey into ultra running.

Proud and happy medal picture

Thank you to Lindley and Maxine at Challenge Running for another brilliant event (though you need to get the mud back next year!!) and thanks to all the checkpoint staff who gave up their day to keep us runners fed, watered and motivated. You were all amazing and we can't do it without your support.

Again thanks to Dan, Paula, Vanessa, Holly, James and Becky for supporting us throughout the day.

I did say this would probably be my last St Peters Way Ultra but I know there is a sub 10 in me so I will be back again next year!!

Happy running xx

A morning with Essex Boot Camp...

Half Day Essex Boot Camp 

 As you know if you read my blog, still find it odd that people do, last November I spent 24 hours running up and down the hill at Great Notley Country Park. Well today I was back on 'my hill'!

I train twice a week with Essex Boot Camp and love it, I have been a member for over 5 years and apart from a few months last summer have always gone regularly. It really helps with the running, having a strong core, upper body and also the mindset you need to get through sessions.

After my 24 hour challenge Wez and James from EBC said they would put on a half day boot camp for members and ask them to donate to Moorfields Eye Charity.

So this morning myself and 69 other boot campers arrived at Great Notley Country Park to be put through our paces. It was a brilliant, muddy, tough morning. Having been struck with a cold on Friday it would have been all too easy to ditch training plans this weekend but so glad I didn't as a good tough workout and I am feeling a lot better!

The warm up involved lots of running up and down the hill with some press ups, squats and burpees thrown in!

Warming up!

We were then split into four teams and had four sessions to complete during the morning. Our 

first one was with Wez and we were exercising with tyres and doing hill runs, the hill never gets any easier to run up, not even after 265 reps last November!

Next was onto James and some team log carries, my cold was making breathing trickier than normal, but with great encouragement form the instructors and members I was able to keep going. 

We then moved onto Glynn, more hill running with bodyweight exercises and some team trye pulls up the hill. The hill seemed to get muddier as the morning went on and staying upright was becoming tough.

Our final session was stretcher runs with Aaron, one person on a stretcher the other four carrying, we took it in turns and had to complete 5 burpees, 10 press ups and 15 sit ups at various points around the course. It was a tough one to finish on but we got it done. The whole morning went really quickly and was great fun.

Training with Essex Boot Camp is always tough but good fun. The instructors will push you to your limits and get the best out of you. They also encourage that positive mindset that is so crucial in all of my running challenges. It is true that spending your time with positive, like minded people  is so important not just in fitness/running training but in all parts of life and EBC motivates and encourages everyone no matter what their fitness level, goals and ambitions!

If you are inspired to get involved have a look at their web site, there are sessions all over Essex.   www.essexbootcamp.co.uk

Finally a massive thank you to all the instructors for this morning and to everyone who came out, trained hard, got muddy and donated to Moorfields Eye Charity, we raised over £400 which is awesome and will really help the charity with their research into cures and treatments for many eye diseases. Thank you all.

Have a good week and happy running/training xx

So that was 2015...

I had a great running year in 2015, 1700 miles covered and much fun along the way with the best friends a girl could ask for.

3 marathons - Halstead, Stour Valley and Thetford.
4 ultra marathons - St Peters Way, Saffron Trail, The Chilterns Ultra, Monster Ultra
a few other shorter races and my own Touch the Bird 24 Challenge which is really an equal highlight to finishing Saffron Trail!

Final very emotional lap of Touch the Bird 24

I had one DNF (or RTC, refused to continue, as some like to call it!) at the Chilterns, purely for mental reasons but I learnt from it and I will go back, probably not this year but one day.

As I said the highlight for me in 2015 was finishing Saffron Trail, a 70 mile overnight race that I hadn't finished the year before. I had awesome support from friends along the way and that helped enormously and thoroughly enjoyed every step!

Awesome support crew at Saffron Trail Ultra

My big sister and I!

Great Notley parkrun has also given me many, many happy memories, great runs and new friends over the last year. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my first stint as run director and joining the core team has been fantastic both in terms of my own self confidence and being able to put something back into running. An added bonus has been my sister taking up running and as a result we have spent more time together.

Great Notley parkrun Core Team

I don't have huge plans (yet) for this year. I have some races booked, I am looking forward to running St Peters Way with Richard and Len and supporting them as they run their first ultras. I am going to run the Malverns Ultra in May and am looking for something long later in the year. I need to keep the summer free in the hope a suitable guide dog is found for my son and we need to be available for training. I plan to spend more time just packing my race vest and going out exploring the countryside and  to continue to enjoy my running as I have done over the past months. Who knows what other crazy challenges I will come up with, Touch the Bird 300 is already lurking in my head!! I also aim to run 2016 miles this year which means about 40 miles a week.

To sum up 2015 was awesome and 2016 is just going to be even more epic!

Many, many thanks to every one of you who has shared a mile or more with me in 2015 and here's to many more fun filled miles to come.

First parkrun of 2016

Happy New Year and happy running xxx